“People are Work!” Tell me about it.

Once upon a time, I used to hassle friends about not keeping in touch.. until I found myself in their shoes.

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In a time that is desperate to cater to your every need/want/demand on the spot and deliver electronically or right where you are, it’s too easy to live in a bubble.

Yes, I live in a bubble sometimes most of the time. I like that I get consumed by work because it takes my mind off a whole lot of things and causes me to use my time judiciously.

But at the end of the day, when I swipe down from the top of my phone screen, I see how the world and my circles have passed by in the how many hours I’ve been happily submerged in something that requires very little socialising effort from me.

At work, I don’t have to go out of my way much to socialise. The people I’d engage in the process of socialising would often come there to the office and even sit in my front, making conversation and social engagement effortless.

Now, if all my social engagements took this format, I’d be the most social person I know 😀! But that’s not the case 🙄. In fact, I not only have to drag my ass out of bed when I’d rather hog my bed all day, but also have to get my groggy self in the shower, brush for almost 30 minutes, dress up half awake, fully wake up to do my makeup, try to justify why I’m neglecting my bed for another person 🤦🏾‍♀️. The stress is just too much.

Now, let me tell you the real stress. This is my own stress, at least. I live in Lagos, Nigeria. I don’t drive, I don’t Uber myself everywhere because I don’t live inside Central Bank of Nigeria’s vault. I try as much as possible to not go out during the day (08:00 and 20:00) so I don’t get into the lethal Lagos sun.

Even though I go out really early to work and I beat the sun to getting to work, I end up around really stinky people (I have overly sensitive olfactory organs) and I have phobia for unsolicited body contact, which is practically inevitable in Nigerian public transport. I’m always irritated by the bus drivers stopping everywhere (including inside potholes) to pick up even ghost passengers.

I leave work when the sun has long gone to bed so heat isn’t usually my cup of tea when I’m going home. But you see, waiting sometimes forever at my first connecting bus stop for a bus to come, only for it to be so already cramped that I have to squeeze myself in the middle of potentially smelly people is a death wish in itself. Most of the time, going home means hopping on four or five vehicles to get from my office to my house.

When I get home? 🧠💀. Literally. I’m so knackered I’m more likely to fall asleep inside my plate of food, if I even remember to eat. Lagos commute is ever draining for me. Drains my energy and will to load me with tiredness that’s beyond me. I hardly ever remember to return calls when I commute or even messages 😩! I always get people telling me, “You just forgot me”, “You didn’t even check up on me”, “Hello stranger”. I sincerely believe that that tiredness that overtakes me when I get home is uncanny.

Sometimes, I chastise myself and sit up on my bed at night, telling myself I’m going to call this person now or send them a message just to let them know that they’re on my mind. I wake up the next morning to see I didn’t charge my phone through the night.. then regretfully realising that I didn’t go through with the previous night’s plan, hence forgetting to plug my phone in overnight 🤦🏾‍♀️.

Then it’s morning and my phone is sometimes going off the hook with messages from people and I’m just cringing at not being able to message them back to say, “Hey, I’m engaged rn. Leave a message.” But then, if I message every single one of them back — you know how engrossing chatting can get 🙄 — I’ll end up getting distracted from my deliverables for the day.

The sad part is, this is my reality and all that stress is part of my life. I recently saw a Twitter post shared on Instagram where someone attested that “Adult friendships are hard. Everyone is busy and life happens”. But he also dropped a wisdom nugget which I’ve mentally adopted for a while now: texting people when you’re thinking of them and how it goes a long way. Like I said, it’s still a “mental” process for me 🙊. I’m learning.

Unless you have special circumstances that don’t afford you the opportunity to say no to that stress, at the end of the day, it’s left to you 🤷🏾‍♀️. But the reality is that so long as the person or people you’re going through all of that social stress for is/are worth it, that should be enough peace for us busy folks 🌝. Don’t waste your precious time on those whodon’t actually matter.

The Royal Wedding 😻: My Thoughts & What Changes?

People are talking about the “beginning of change”. What change?

Since my faithful Suits days, I’ve been a fan of Rachel Zane and Meghan Markle. Since I first saw Prince Harry’s charming smile, and his full ginger head in comparison to brother William’s *coughs* balding *coughs* head 🙊, I’ve loved him, his not-your-regular-waves-and-smiles royal self, and his humanitarian efforts!

The first time I saw the news of Harry and Meghan seriously dating, I was like 😧!! How did that even happen?? They aren’t from vastly different worlds, seeing how they’re both celebrities in their rights. But how did they even meet???? I was stunned more than I can tell.

Fast forward to when they decided to announce that they’d be getting married. I was like, back up. Continue reading “The Royal Wedding 😻: My Thoughts & What Changes?”

What/Who is Ella, Emmanuella?

So I decided to “learn” about myself on Urban Dictionary..

While writing my last blog post, I don’t know who sent me to go and look up my name on Urban Dictionary 😩. Here are some screenshots:

The only thing inaccurate about his definition is the insecurity. And I don’t “make sure people are there for me” 🙄. I don’t expect people to be there for me, but I will be there for them regardless 😘☺️.

Oh, I don’t have green eyes. They’re as brown as these ones: 👀.

What is inaccurate about this one 🧐? Again, the insecurity. What is it with the Ella’s these people know and insecurities 🤔?

I don’t get angry easily 😕.

Kooky? 🙄 Really? Lord and only Lord and oh, wait, my lost diary sessions since my laptop crashed (😩) know the truth about that one 👀. Bizarre 🙄? Talks too much? More like laughs too much 😂😂.

By the way, aside from whatever anyone says your name means or connotes, you define you; not anyone or anything else, not some algorithm somewhere. Don’t let things, circumstances or people define your identity for you 🤗.

In the interim, please, gaan shehk your name on Urban Dictionary and let me know what it means according to pop culture 😂!

Why Do We Blindly Feel the Need to “Match Up”?

You really don’t need to recalibrate your life every time *they* change something up..

I don’t know if it applies to every single one of us, or some people are actually fortunate enough to never have felt the need or urge to match up someone else’s standards — or society’s standards.

Me, you normally wouldn’t find me trying to match or beat someone else’s game because I thrive on being weird and odd 🙊. But that’s not to say that I have never felt that urge to push myself to be on par with someone else.

Once, I so badly wanted to show my fellow everyone that something from my book of designs could become a reality that I engaged the services of a tailor that made me question my friend’s life choices, since she recommended the tailor. The outfit was so horrid, I had to saw through the bottom with a pair of scissors and hand stitch the hem back in 😩. Ended up wearing a really short dress (thankfully, covered in a black chiffon overlay) that could barely contain my small chest to a formal dinner 😓.

However, what I have an issue with (I’m talking from personal, very recent and now seemingly indefinite experiences) is matching up with someone’s standards, without evaluating certain things.

Why are they doing what they’re doing? Why are they doing it in that way? What are they getting out of it? Is that their lifestyle? Is it convenient for them? Is it a temporary thing or is that their life, in reality?

There are so many questions we don’t ask before jumping to the conclusion that someone is “doing more” than us, therefore, we need to meet up or be at par.

I’ve noticed from my experience of people trying to “match up” with me, that they unconsciously empower me to control their lives. Seriously, when you subject your lifestyle and life choices to other people’s standards, and to match their life choices or lifestyles, you are empowering them to control and govern how you live your life.

I’ve watched people whom I just started getting to know go from complaining about having to do certain things to start doing those very same things just because they found out those are the things that I happen to be doing. And these same people would’ve sworn that they absolutely could not do those things because of how inconvenient it would be for them. But get one thing: they never asked me why I do those things, and ever so frequently and naturally.

Why do we blindly follow in others footsteps?

If they have a child today, whether you’re ready or not, you decide to have one just because “s/he’s having a child”. If they decide to take up residence at the new estate in the city, you decide your house needs an indefinite break from you while you cosy up in one in that new estate. If they decide to start sleeping for 3/4 hours, you decide that you’re sleeping too much! If they decide to buy a new car, you don’t even listen to your account’s wails before you throw a mental party for your new car 😀!

With every step they take in living their lives, you’re trying to hop onto the same step without considering what you’re doing, if it’s right for you and if it’s necessary!

Who is this “they” that you’ve unconsciously given so much ascendancy in your life that they unwittingly dictate your life? Oh, wait. That’s even assuming they haven’t noticed that you’re reshaping your lifestyle and life choices to match theirs 😮 and maybe even deliberately making some adjustments!

Don’t compete with anyone, try to match up with anyone, inconvenience yourself or recalibrate your life just to “meet up” to anyone’s standards or lifestyle, especially if your motive is simply to “be like them”, or “do what they’re doing”. You both lead two separate, distinctive and unimaginably customised lives. They (both lives) were not made to be photocopies.

Do you 🤗♥️!

Manny & the Brain – 20.03.18

One of those internal conversations..

Gets into a maruwa (tricycle) at night, going home from work..

Brain: Manuella, stop laughing for no reason, like an idiot ☹️.
Me: Leave me alone 😂🙄.
Brain: You do realise that you’re the only passenger in the maruwa, no 😥? And it’s an open vehicle; anyone can see you laughing with no one beside you 😶.
Me: Fine 🙄.
Brain: Lord, help me out here, please 😓☹️.

Me: You know you luhhhhhhhhhh me 😻😂.
Brain: 😐😐.


I do have a lot of apologising to do, I know 🙈🙊. I’ve been MIA without notice and I haven’t put anything up in what now feels like forever 🙈.

I don’t know from where I got the idea that I need to have a full-bodied (intro, body and conclusion) and lengthy write-up before I publish a post 😕. Beause I have loads of this kind of posts just sitting around!

Anyhoo, I’ve got more crazies than I can contain, and I’d love to share them with you 😻 (no, I’m not really lovestruck. I was just caught up in the moment 👀).

So, what I’m saying is that I should be doing more of these kinds of random (unplanned) posts 🌝.


Watches the conductor sat beside me as he brushes his fingers past all the good 100 naira notes and hands me my change. One look at it and I hand it right back for him to change it. Me: O de wa owo to ti yani yakuya, o de gbe fun mi 🙄. O ti ri arindin 😒. (And he looked for money that was horrendously mutilated, and he gave it to me 🙄. He has seen a dunce 😒.)
Brain: 😂😂.
Me: It’s not funny o. Stop laughing 🙄.
Brain: 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣.
Me: 🙄😐😂😂😂😂. Oh, Lord!

Ze End!

Comparison: What Lies Behind that State of Mind?

We all have, at least, that one shoe we want to wear, but belongs to someone else

I’m one of those, who are ever ready to tell you how you shouldn’t compare yourself to others because y’all are on a different journey and all those cliché stuff we all say at some point. It’s not that I don’t believe that statement. It’s a fact: we are on different and distinctively customised journeys. There’s no valid basis for comparison.

There are more reasons why I tell myself not to compare myself or my life circumstances to others, no matter how capriciously justifiable it may seem.

I tell myself: Each of us has a different arrangement with God and with destiny. That this person has it all together in one solid piece now doesn’t mean that it’ll be so in the next how many years. That you can’t seem to strike that fortune just yet doesn’t mean that you won’t ever. Your timelines are different, so work with what you have in front of you. Sometimes, I even take it a step further: What you see now and you desire is small in comparison to what is to come for you. Be patient, Manuella. God is not sleeping.

Now, these are only a few of the pep talks I give myself when I catch myself, more often, having finished comparing myself to someone else, or right when I start that train of thought.

But today, I’m having a different talk with myself. I couldn’t even make out what my precise sentiments were ☹️.

One minute, I was like, Awww! Look at these people, so happy and jolly! But they didn’t even invite me ☹️. So I reminded myself: 🙄 Just look at you! Aren’t you the one that goes to lengths just to make yourself unavailable in their social circles? You built an entire city around your fortress, and then built a fortress around the city! So what are you complaining about? Meanwhile, you wouldn’t have been able to attend! You were at work, after all 🙄.

So I snapped out of my self-centered thought. I think I do this quite often.

I was then forced to examine the way I felt initially; how somewhat entitled I felt. I also had to examine how I felt after the reflection on how I had a significant part to play. Initially, I felt like, Why was I on my own? Why doesn’t anyone invite me to any of these things? Why doesn’t anyone remember I exist? Why don’t I get called out?

The honest truth is that these people are people that I would not have wanted to see because they would be looking to catch up on things that I don’t consider their business anymore. Another thing is that they’d want to rebuild friendships that I was only too happy to let go of once upon a time, and am not particularly optimistic about rekindling. You’d be amazed the lengths I go to stay hidden from and invisible to some people, especially people from a part of my past I wasn’t too enthusiastic about 🙈.

Essentially, the things we see in others and wish for are sometimes not ours because we block them from coming our way (which we will never remember when we’re indicting ourselves for being unfortunate). Some other times, we forget that people have things they struggle with, which are blessings we effortlessly enjoy, and whose “blessing” status we don’t even recognise because we’ve never had to seek those things. These people whose shoes we so badly wish to wear have sores for decades under their feet, but we only see the Zanotti and Louboutin shoes and whatever else we see on their feet.

But what is worse is how all this comparison makes us feel about ourselves, whether or not we realise it. I may not be able to list them all, but there’s nothing positive about the way it makes us feel. Among others, comparison makes us feel unfortunate, victimised, ill-fated. We may, we may not be. But I believe that I’m not any of those things.

So, when next we ask ourselves, Why does this person have everything I want?, we should remember to ask ourselves, What if all the things I enjoy are the very things s/he lacks? What if I’m not ready for it yet? What if it isn’t all it’s made out to be? Life is not fair, as you know. We can’t exchange our good health, riches, perfect sight, working limbs and co. for someone else’s (whatever it is), neither can we always have what we want.

Just know that in due time, what’s meant to be yours will be yours, with all the effort and appropriate attitude. So, do what you can while you can.

One Weird/ Typical/ Whatever Night Going Home..

What goes on in your mind when you’re just watching life go by?

What kind of blogpost title is that even 🙄?

Abeg! Na you sabi 😒! Let me start my tale.

So this was the state of my mind going home one night..

While the driver of the yellow bus (danfo) was waiting at a bus stop to see if luck would be on his side and passengers would board, I spotted one woman walking by on the sidewalk. She has a very nice bum bum. Come, I don’t say “bum bum”; she has a nice bum, a nice ass. I hope she’s pregnant; that tummy is too big to be an ordinary pot. She’s got a very nice bum tho. I like it.

Some minutes later, another woman was innocently walking on the side of the road. Ah, that woman has a nice bum. It’s very nice.

Since the driver was speeding like a demon (to my delight), I decided to help him check his back and his side. I should even help him check his back. That thing (his mirror) is not working.

I was writing and looked up, only to see a lot of people boarding the bus. These must be church people. Let me put my phone in one corner before they start to shine their eyes inside my phone. But I’m sitting by the window and that’s how those useless possessed animals roaming the road will come and snatch someone’s phone inside this hold up. Come sef, the one that is making loud phone call behind me and talking into my available ear 🙄. Nonsense and rubbish 😒. But I don’t want to put my earphone in that ear 😩.

The smell of shit snapped me out of my monologue. I looked up to see a LAWMA (waste management) truck on the other side of the road 😩. H’o my goodneizz! Come, why are there so many people on the road these days 🙄.

From the moment those church people boarded the bus, I kept turning to my side to look at the guy that sat beside me when they boarded. I hope he’s not looking at my phone. I mean, he shouldn’t be able to see what I’m writing unless he’s got microscopic eyes 😕. And why does he keep smiling? What’s so funny 😕. After the last look I took at him, Ewo! He’s not smiling! His mouth is just positioned like that, with his teeth trying to say hi. Shoo! Nawa o!

After praying for a red bus (you see, you’ve gotta love them if you’re not a fan of sluggishness) and waiting at my connecting bus stop for one for less than five minutes, a white (coaster) bus turned up. Ijora, Ijora! Eii! This one is going to Costain 😕. So I got on it. After all, it’s the same price as the red one. And it’s normally not slow.

I kept looking back and saw a red bus halting to a stop right behind the bus I was in. And the bus I was in was already starting to move ☹️. That’s how I’ll come down now, only for that red bus to be going to Yaba-Oyingbo 😕. Let me just stay on this one and hope it moves fast, instead of risking it and waiting for Lord knows how long before a Kpangroof-Onipanu-Ojuelegba-Stadium-Barrack-Costain one comes along ☹️.

So I stayed put and spent Lord knows how many minutes looking back and stretching my neck to see if that red bus was catching up yet. Good. I’m not even sure it was going to Costain. But this one (that I’m in) that is doing sme sme and driving as if the engine will die if he dares to move fast nko 😩. H’o my goodneizz!

Minutes and some little traffic later, I looked back again. The red bus wasn’t even in sight (it was far behind). Yass 💃🏾🙌🏾! But this one needs to move else we’ll sleep on the road today 😫.

A few minutes later..

Nooooooooooooooo 😫😭. I said it! That red bus will eventually pass us 😢. With the way these ones are moving as if they were told that their destiny is somewhere in between where they picked me up from and where they’re going 😒. Won ma ma rin b’igbin (they’ll be moving like snails) 😒. Nonsense and rubbish. That red bus had better be going to Yaba-Oyingbo 😫.

A few minutes to my destination’s bus stop, the bus stopped at a stop and was starting to spend more than a few seconds there. Let’s be going 😩😫! Which kind of alakoba is this one gan 🙄!

After Lord knows how math minutes in total of whimpering here and there, I got to my penultimate stop; the one from which I get to my house 😪.

Funny story, this is me every other day 🙊.

Alright my lovelies! See you again soon 😘! If you’re seeing this, thank you for reading 😁!

A very excited Manuella. xx