Nigerians Are Such Interesting and Delightful People

The Nigerian life is one in a lifetime

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My word 😩! I once swore this would never be me; I never imagined myself being so busy that I couldn’t write for the purpose of sharing 🙈. Oh, yes, I journal, still 🌝. But even that is suffering small small 😩. 

So.. I’ve had this particular post in draft mode for over a month now.. 👀. Actually, I suddenly feel the need to go on a writing spree.. Like I should just pack a small bag and jet off to maybe Seychelles 🤔. Oh, who am I kidding 😩!

Anyhoo, Nigerians.. ☹️😓😪🙄. Indeed, all those emoji apply when I think about my citizenship 😩. This country is full of life. Literally. If you want to experience life as a concept or you want a phenomenal life, just come here and subject yourself to every kind of experience there is. Forget your status, your culture, your dos and don’ts, your preconceptions, everything; come as a new, empty canvas. 

Where else do you go to an office early in the morning and you almost can’t hear yourself over a local-language radio station blasting throughout the room? Then, you stand midway through to an adjacent office, and you can hear a completely different radio station playing in the adjacent office. Both radios are battling for airspace and earspace.. in an office 😂!

Nigeria!

Have you ever been in a bus where the driver honestly and clearly believes that James Bond has a career in Nigeria? The driver drives as if he’s on an empty F1 track, when the already undersized road is congested 😐. And when the bigger brothers of the road come up beside him, his rascality or confidence – or whatever drives his thinking – causes him to play a mindless game of eeny-meeny-miny-moe with the lives of those in the bus 😐.

Nigerians!

Have you ever tried to demand customer service in Nigeria? I’ll let that sink in, if you’re a true Nigerian 😆😂. See, customer service is a fairy-tale in Nigeria. The workers here treat customers as if they are the ones begrudgingly paying for the service being offered to the customers. Service attendants can be so rude and cold; customers immediately get the vibe that they’re bothering the attendants with their requests 🙄. If you don’t look like you can pay extra for their time, it’s very likely that your request will be treated as pestering.

Nigerians!

Can you imagine – except if you’ve been in such a situation – being in a bus where the front passenger door flies ajar every few minutes, as if to register its own space on the road. 😐 Oh, Lord! 😂 I’ve even lost count of how many times this has happened in a bus that I’ve been in. For the love of public transport 🙄!

Nigeria!

Have you ever seen where state and national service buildings look like the remnants of an apocalypse 😐? The best part? They’re not out of service; they’re still very much “functioning”. If you look closely enough, you’ll see shapes in human form travelling within the floors of the building 😐. These services are often “emergency services”; headquarters of “emergency services”. If you drive around the Lagos State secretariat.. 🤦🏾‍♀️. Now, if you go in.. 💀.

Nigeria!

I will end there, before my eyes get stuck up there. 

Until you see me again 😩 let’s hope it’s not next year.. buh-bye 🙋🏾!

Do You Ever…?

A lot of thoughts running through the human mind.

😪 I have ………… 😂🙊 I’m trying to be serious here 🙊. I’ll suck it up. 😂😂😂😂 Oh, no!

Ok. Take 2. 🤐 I have these thoughts — hypothetical… and wishful — that I just play around with in my head, in my moments of solitude. One that has very recently and stubbornly been on my mind is the existence of a particular “phenomenon” that seems to be beyond me. If you know how to read between the lines, good for you. If you don’t… well, 🤷🏾‍♀️. I’d even only be able to say it to you in a pitch-black room! 😂

Do you ever find yourself inexplicably attached to someone and their happiness? 😕 It’s really hard for me to get my head around it, because I’m someone who even finds it difficult to develop or sustain attachments to people 😭😂. So, I don’t know what makes this one different 🤔.

Do you ever wonder what it’s like inside someone’s body, and what the world looks like (literally and figuratively) through someone else’s eyes? I do this rather often 🙊. I don’t know what differing colours or what differing perspectives I’m expecting to see, but I do wonder how you see the world. 🙃

Do you ever wish you could fast-forward time to when you’re “settled” (using whatever milestones do it for you) so that you can either push yourself more now, or use it as an encouragement for the now? I do, often for the latter reason. I’m anxious often, but not necessarily a lot, about when I will finally get the things I want for myself, so I can encourage my present self that it’s close enough (supposing it is).

Do you ever wish you had a special ability? Oh, who doesn’t 🙄! I wish my ability was teleportation 🏃🏾‍♀️. I ain’t got no business reading people’s minds or all that crock 😂. No offence to those who want that ability 😄; I once wanted it… but I discovered teleportation 😌. I want to be able to be wherever I want to be at whatever time! I sure won’t be where I am right now 👀! I’d be in the … wait! That’s my secret escape 🤐. Surely, I can’t give that away 😉. No flight or train tickets ever? 🙋🏾 Travel solo? 🙋🏾

Finally, do you ever go about your day normally and then get your memory jogged, only to realise that it “was in your dream“? More often than seems normal to me, my day is just in progress as usual. Then I suddenly have “a moment” and say to myself, Oh, that was in my dream! What am I on about? I would have just realised that a memory that came back me to me minutes before did not actually happen in reality; it must have been in one of my dreams the night before 😕. Weird? I really don’t give a hoot. 🙃 I’ve learned to live with it and just go “😃” every time. ☺️

Until you see me again, ✌🏾.