One Weird/ Typical/ Whatever Night Going Home..

What goes on in your mind when you’re just watching life go by?

Advertisements

What kind of blogpost title is that even 🙄?

Abeg! Na you sabi 😒! Let me start my tale.

So this was the state of my mind going home one night..

While the driver of the yellow bus (danfo) was waiting at a bus stop to see if luck would be on his side and passengers would board, I spotted one woman walking by on the sidewalk. She has a very nice bum bum. Come, I don’t say “bum bum”; she has a nice bum, a nice ass. I hope she’s pregnant; that tummy is too big to be an ordinary pot. She’s got a very nice bum tho. I like it.

Some minutes later, another woman was innocently walking on the side of the road. Ah, that woman has a nice bum. It’s very nice.

Since the driver was speeding like a demon (to my delight), I decided to help him check his back and his side. I should even help him check his back. That thing (his mirror) is not working.

I was writing and looked up, only to see a lot of people boarding the bus. These must be church people. Let me put my phone in one corner before they start to shine their eyes inside my phone. But I’m sitting by the window and that’s how those useless possessed animals roaming the road will come and snatch someone’s phone inside this hold up. Come sef, the one that is making loud phone call behind me and talking into my available ear 🙄. Nonsense and rubbish 😒. But I don’t want to put my earphone in that ear 😩.

The smell of shit snapped me out of my monologue. I looked up to see a LAWMA (waste management) truck on the other side of the road 😩. H’o my goodneizz! Come, why are there so many people on the road these days 🙄.

From the moment those church people boarded the bus, I kept turning to my side to look at the guy that sat beside me when they boarded. I hope he’s not looking at my phone. I mean, he shouldn’t be able to see what I’m writing unless he’s got microscopic eyes 😕. And why does he keep smiling? What’s so funny 😕. After the last look I took at him, Ewo! He’s not smiling! His mouth is just positioned like that, with his teeth trying to say hi. Shoo! Nawa o!

After praying for a red bus (you see, you’ve gotta love them if you’re not a fan of sluggishness) and waiting at my connecting bus stop for one for less than five minutes, a white (coaster) bus turned up. Ijora, Ijora! Eii! This one is going to Costain 😕. So I got on it. After all, it’s the same price as the red one. And it’s normally not slow.

I kept looking back and saw a red bus halting to a stop right behind the bus I was in. And the bus I was in was already starting to move ☹️. That’s how I’ll come down now, only for that red bus to be going to Yaba-Oyingbo 😕. Let me just stay on this one and hope it moves fast, instead of risking it and waiting for Lord knows how long before a Kpangroof-Onipanu-Ojuelegba-Stadium-Barrack-Costain one comes along ☹️.

So I stayed put and spent Lord knows how many minutes looking back and stretching my neck to see if that red bus was catching up yet. Good. I’m not even sure it was going to Costain. But this one (that I’m in) that is doing sme sme and driving as if the engine will die if he dares to move fast nko 😩. H’o my goodneizz!

Minutes and some little traffic later, I looked back again. The red bus wasn’t even in sight (it was far behind). Yass 💃🏾🙌🏾! But this one needs to move else we’ll sleep on the road today 😫.

A few minutes later..

Nooooooooooooooo 😫😭. I said it! That red bus will eventually pass us 😢. With the way these ones are moving as if they were told that their destiny is somewhere in between where they picked me up from and where they’re going 😒. Won ma ma rin b’igbin (they’ll be moving like snails) 😒. Nonsense and rubbish. That red bus had better be going to Yaba-Oyingbo 😫.

A few minutes to my destination’s bus stop, the bus stopped at a stop and was starting to spend more than a few seconds there. Let’s be going 😩😫! Which kind of alakoba is this one gan 🙄!

After Lord knows how math minutes in total of whimpering here and there, I got to my penultimate stop; the one from which I get to my house 😪.

Funny story, this is me every other day 🙊.

Alright my lovelies! See you again soon 😘! If you’re seeing this, thank you for reading 😁!

A very excited Manuella. xx

What Are You Refusing to Come to Terms With?

We all have demons we battle with denial and procrastination, and end up handing them the baton to catch up with our happiness

Facing something squarely requires courage and faith, among other things.

Inner voice: Manuella, listen to me.
*blocks ears*
Inner voice: 😐
Me: I know what you want to say and I don’t want to hear it.
Inner voice: Well, I’m only telling you because I want you to get comfortable with the idea. And I want you to stop fighting it.
Me: God, why do I have to listen to this? 😭
Inner voice: Manuella, it’s your imminent reality; you can’t keep fighting it and running away from it. You can’t see it yet, and you don’t even want to because of fear!
Me: 🤦🏾‍♀️😢

Very vague, right? I know. The topic to which this conversation applies to — thankfully, no longer on a daily basis — is one that’s mortally personal to me 🙈. I don’t know if the conversation sounds familiar to you; if you’ve ever had to battle an inner voice with your own unbelief, denial and avoidance of something you sense is imminent. If you got a chance, you’d probably delay that part of the future.

For some people, it’s detaching yourself from someone or something or a process you know is toxic for you. For others, it’s having to make a really big decision that has a significant impact on your life or on others’ lives. For some others, it’s bursting your own bubble, knowing that you’ve got your head in the clouds when you ought to apply self-honesty and practicality to your situation. It could be anything! Whatever it is, you’re simply running away from it. We have that in common, stranger.

Your catalyst may be fear, it may be your rejection of the imminent, it could be anything else.

Your mind independently and uncontrollably meditates on it, only awaking your consciousness when you find yourself reflexively engaging the meditation.

What are we refusing to come to terms with? Because the farther we run away from it, the longer the distance we have to walk back to face it squarely and deal with it.

Do You Ever…?

A lot of thoughts running through the human mind.

😪 I have ………… 😂🙊 I’m trying to be serious here 🙊. I’ll suck it up. 😂😂😂😂 Oh, no!

Ok. Take 2. 🤐 I have these thoughts — hypothetical… and wishful — that I just play around with in my head, in my moments of solitude. One that has very recently and stubbornly been on my mind is the existence of a particular “phenomenon” that seems to be beyond me. If you know how to read between the lines, good for you. If you don’t… well, 🤷🏾‍♀️. I’d even only be able to say it to you in a pitch-black room! 😂

Do you ever find yourself inexplicably attached to someone and their happiness? 😕 It’s really hard for me to get my head around it, because I’m someone who even finds it difficult to develop or sustain attachments to people 😭😂. So, I don’t know what makes this one different 🤔.

Do you ever wonder what it’s like inside someone’s body, and what the world looks like (literally and figuratively) through someone else’s eyes? I do this rather often 🙊. I don’t know what differing colours or what differing perspectives I’m expecting to see, but I do wonder how you see the world. 🙃

Do you ever wish you could fast-forward time to when you’re “settled” (using whatever milestones do it for you) so that you can either push yourself more now, or use it as an encouragement for the now? I do, often for the latter reason. I’m anxious often, but not necessarily a lot, about when I will finally get the things I want for myself, so I can encourage my present self that it’s close enough (supposing it is).

Do you ever wish you had a special ability? Oh, who doesn’t 🙄! I wish my ability was teleportation 🏃🏾‍♀️. I ain’t got no business reading people’s minds or all that crock 😂. No offence to those who want that ability 😄; I once wanted it… but I discovered teleportation 😌. I want to be able to be wherever I want to be at whatever time! I sure won’t be where I am right now 👀! I’d be in the … wait! That’s my secret escape 🤐. Surely, I can’t give that away 😉. No flight or train tickets ever? 🙋🏾 Travel solo? 🙋🏾

Finally, do you ever go about your day normally and then get your memory jogged, only to realise that it “was in your dream“? More often than seems normal to me, my day is just in progress as usual. Then I suddenly have “a moment” and say to myself, Oh, that was in my dream! What am I on about? I would have just realised that a memory that came back me to me minutes before did not actually happen in reality; it must have been in one of my dreams the night before 😕. Weird? I really don’t give a hoot. 🙃 I’ve learned to live with it and just go “😃” every time. ☺️

Until you see me again, ✌🏾.