“People are Work!” Tell me about it.

Once upon a time, I used to hassle friends about not keeping in touch.. until I found myself in their shoes.

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In a time that is desperate to cater to your every need/want/demand on the spot and deliver electronically or right where you are, it’s too easy to live in a bubble.

Yes, I live in a bubble sometimes most of the time. I like that I get consumed by work because it takes my mind off a whole lot of things and causes me to use my time judiciously.

But at the end of the day, when I swipe down from the top of my phone screen, I see how the world and my circles have passed by in the how many hours I’ve been happily submerged in something that requires very little socialising effort from me.

At work, I don’t have to go out of my way much to socialise. The people I’d engage in the process of socialising would often come there to the office and even sit in my front, making conversation and social engagement effortless.

Now, if all my social engagements took this format, I’d be the most social person I know 😀! But that’s not the case 🙄. In fact, I not only have to drag my ass out of bed when I’d rather hog my bed all day, but also have to get my groggy self in the shower, brush for almost 30 minutes, dress up half awake, fully wake up to do my makeup, try to justify why I’m neglecting my bed for another person 🤦🏾‍♀️. The stress is just too much.

Now, let me tell you the real stress. This is my own stress, at least. I live in Lagos, Nigeria. I don’t drive, I don’t Uber myself everywhere because I don’t live inside Central Bank of Nigeria’s vault. I try as much as possible to not go out during the day (08:00 and 20:00) so I don’t get into the lethal Lagos sun.

Even though I go out really early to work and I beat the sun to getting to work, I end up around really stinky people (I have overly sensitive olfactory organs) and I have phobia for unsolicited body contact, which is practically inevitable in Nigerian public transport. I’m always irritated by the bus drivers stopping everywhere (including inside potholes) to pick up even ghost passengers.

I leave work when the sun has long gone to bed so heat isn’t usually my cup of tea when I’m going home. But you see, waiting sometimes forever at my first connecting bus stop for a bus to come, only for it to be so already cramped that I have to squeeze myself in the middle of potentially smelly people is a death wish in itself. Most of the time, going home means hopping on four or five vehicles to get from my office to my house.

When I get home? 🧠💀. Literally. I’m so knackered I’m more likely to fall asleep inside my plate of food, if I even remember to eat. Lagos commute is ever draining for me. Drains my energy and will to load me with tiredness that’s beyond me. I hardly ever remember to return calls when I commute or even messages 😩! I always get people telling me, “You just forgot me”, “You didn’t even check up on me”, “Hello stranger”. I sincerely believe that that tiredness that overtakes me when I get home is uncanny.

Sometimes, I chastise myself and sit up on my bed at night, telling myself I’m going to call this person now or send them a message just to let them know that they’re on my mind. I wake up the next morning to see I didn’t charge my phone through the night.. then regretfully realising that I didn’t go through with the previous night’s plan, hence forgetting to plug my phone in overnight 🤦🏾‍♀️.

Then it’s morning and my phone is sometimes going off the hook with messages from people and I’m just cringing at not being able to message them back to say, “Hey, I’m engaged rn. Leave a message.” But then, if I message every single one of them back — you know how engrossing chatting can get 🙄 — I’ll end up getting distracted from my deliverables for the day.

The sad part is, this is my reality and all that stress is part of my life. I recently saw a Twitter post shared on Instagram where someone attested that “Adult friendships are hard. Everyone is busy and life happens”. But he also dropped a wisdom nugget which I’ve mentally adopted for a while now: texting people when you’re thinking of them and how it goes a long way. Like I said, it’s still a “mental” process for me 🙊. I’m learning.

Unless you have special circumstances that don’t afford you the opportunity to say no to that stress, at the end of the day, it’s left to you 🤷🏾‍♀️. But the reality is that so long as the person or people you’re going through all of that social stress for is/are worth it, that should be enough peace for us busy folks 🌝. Don’t waste your precious time on those whodon’t actually matter.

Manny & the Brain – 20.03.18

One of those internal conversations..

Gets into a maruwa (tricycle) at night, going home from work..

Brain: Manuella, stop laughing for no reason, like an idiot ☹️.
Me: Leave me alone 😂🙄.
Brain: You do realise that you’re the only passenger in the maruwa, no 😥? And it’s an open vehicle; anyone can see you laughing with no one beside you 😶.
Me: Fine 🙄.
Brain: Lord, help me out here, please 😓☹️.

Me: You know you luhhhhhhhhhh me 😻😂.
Brain: 😐😐.


I do have a lot of apologising to do, I know 🙈🙊. I’ve been MIA without notice and I haven’t put anything up in what now feels like forever 🙈.

I don’t know from where I got the idea that I need to have a full-bodied (intro, body and conclusion) and lengthy write-up before I publish a post 😕. Beause I have loads of this kind of posts just sitting around!

Anyhoo, I’ve got more crazies than I can contain, and I’d love to share them with you 😻 (no, I’m not really lovestruck. I was just caught up in the moment 👀).

So, what I’m saying is that I should be doing more of these kinds of random (unplanned) posts 🌝.


Watches the conductor sat beside me as he brushes his fingers past all the good 100 naira notes and hands me my change. One look at it and I hand it right back for him to change it. Me: O de wa owo to ti yani yakuya, o de gbe fun mi 🙄. O ti ri arindin 😒. (And he looked for money that was horrendously mutilated, and he gave it to me 🙄. He has seen a dunce 😒.)
Brain: 😂😂.
Me: It’s not funny o. Stop laughing 🙄.
Brain: 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣.
Me: 🙄😐😂😂😂😂. Oh, Lord!

Ze End!

One Weird/ Typical/ Whatever Night Going Home..

What goes on in your mind when you’re just watching life go by?

What kind of blogpost title is that even 🙄?

Abeg! Na you sabi 😒! Let me start my tale.

So this was the state of my mind going home one night..

While the driver of the yellow bus (danfo) was waiting at a bus stop to see if luck would be on his side and passengers would board, I spotted one woman walking by on the sidewalk. She has a very nice bum bum. Come, I don’t say “bum bum”; she has a nice bum, a nice ass. I hope she’s pregnant; that tummy is too big to be an ordinary pot. She’s got a very nice bum tho. I like it.

Some minutes later, another woman was innocently walking on the side of the road. Ah, that woman has a nice bum. It’s very nice.

Since the driver was speeding like a demon (to my delight), I decided to help him check his back and his side. I should even help him check his back. That thing (his mirror) is not working.

I was writing and looked up, only to see a lot of people boarding the bus. These must be church people. Let me put my phone in one corner before they start to shine their eyes inside my phone. But I’m sitting by the window and that’s how those useless possessed animals roaming the road will come and snatch someone’s phone inside this hold up. Come sef, the one that is making loud phone call behind me and talking into my available ear 🙄. Nonsense and rubbish 😒. But I don’t want to put my earphone in that ear 😩.

The smell of shit snapped me out of my monologue. I looked up to see a LAWMA (waste management) truck on the other side of the road 😩. H’o my goodneizz! Come, why are there so many people on the road these days 🙄.

From the moment those church people boarded the bus, I kept turning to my side to look at the guy that sat beside me when they boarded. I hope he’s not looking at my phone. I mean, he shouldn’t be able to see what I’m writing unless he’s got microscopic eyes 😕. And why does he keep smiling? What’s so funny 😕. After the last look I took at him, Ewo! He’s not smiling! His mouth is just positioned like that, with his teeth trying to say hi. Shoo! Nawa o!

After praying for a red bus (you see, you’ve gotta love them if you’re not a fan of sluggishness) and waiting at my connecting bus stop for one for less than five minutes, a white (coaster) bus turned up. Ijora, Ijora! Eii! This one is going to Costain 😕. So I got on it. After all, it’s the same price as the red one. And it’s normally not slow.

I kept looking back and saw a red bus halting to a stop right behind the bus I was in. And the bus I was in was already starting to move ☹️. That’s how I’ll come down now, only for that red bus to be going to Yaba-Oyingbo 😕. Let me just stay on this one and hope it moves fast, instead of risking it and waiting for Lord knows how long before a Kpangroof-Onipanu-Ojuelegba-Stadium-Barrack-Costain one comes along ☹️.

So I stayed put and spent Lord knows how many minutes looking back and stretching my neck to see if that red bus was catching up yet. Good. I’m not even sure it was going to Costain. But this one (that I’m in) that is doing sme sme and driving as if the engine will die if he dares to move fast nko 😩. H’o my goodneizz!

Minutes and some little traffic later, I looked back again. The red bus wasn’t even in sight (it was far behind). Yass 💃🏾🙌🏾! But this one needs to move else we’ll sleep on the road today 😫.

A few minutes later..

Nooooooooooooooo 😫😭. I said it! That red bus will eventually pass us 😢. With the way these ones are moving as if they were told that their destiny is somewhere in between where they picked me up from and where they’re going 😒. Won ma ma rin b’igbin (they’ll be moving like snails) 😒. Nonsense and rubbish. That red bus had better be going to Yaba-Oyingbo 😫.

A few minutes to my destination’s bus stop, the bus stopped at a stop and was starting to spend more than a few seconds there. Let’s be going 😩😫! Which kind of alakoba is this one gan 🙄!

After Lord knows how math minutes in total of whimpering here and there, I got to my penultimate stop; the one from which I get to my house 😪.

Funny story, this is me every other day 🙊.

Alright my lovelies! See you again soon 😘! If you’re seeing this, thank you for reading 😁!

A very excited Manuella. xx

One Tuesday Morning..

When public transport that never works in your favour particularly targets you on a work morning

After waiting 20-something minutes at the bus stop for a red bus, my colleague whom I was sure must have left already gradually appeared in the distance. He had come to join me in the wait.

Some few minutes later, after internally contemplating taking a yellow bus (danfo) and ready to jump on the one that had just stopped in my front, my colleague snapped me out of my deliberation and flagged down a red bus. Yes! 💃🏾💃🏾 A red bus finally turned up 😭! Ketu-Ojota-Mile12-Sabo-Koodu-GRA! 😻😻
The b
-more–>Ojota. Not a single moment of regret 😌.

Cross the overhead bridge to the other side and get on a connecting bus. No trouble. I do this everyday, no? Surely, God won’t let anyone spoil my joy this morning.

So I got on an unfortunately snail-ish connecting bus and a few minutes in: O ga o 🙄! Eleyi na ma tun bole ni Radio 😒 (So this one too will get off at Radio). After stopping at pretty much every bus stop on that seemingly infinite Kudirat Abiola road, the man who gently sat in my front got the glare of life from behind when he said he was going to stop at the first bus stop on the next road.

From that point on, people got off at nearly every stop 😩.. until I heard a funny sound with different volumes and turned back to see my colleague swiftly move across the seat, away from the window. Have you heard when a pump is being played with and someone keeps letting air out and blocking the hose in short, quick successions? That was the sound. The bus gradually slowed down and, lo and behold, the tyre had gone flat 🙆🏾. Completely flat 😐.

What?! Me that has been complaining about the speed and about all the people getting off at all the bus stops since! The tyre now decides to go flat 😐🙄! Which time am I not going to get to work late like this, o Lord 😫! Why, oh why 😭?

I started looking around to see what alternatives were nearby, since I was now only two stops away from my destination’s bus stop. The conductor took us to the nearest bus stop — which was thankfully a few feet in front — and got a bus to carry us all.

Until I got to my stop, I was thinking about how the conductor of the bus we were now in dared not ask us for money 🙄. After we had paid 100 naira for the entire journey, that one will now ask us to pay 50 naira again 🙄. Nonsense and rubbish. As if we were the ones who deflated the tyre. Mschew.

So I heard my bus stop and I said “O wa”. I got down and kept a steady side eye in case I heard “Owo da?” 🙄. Money ko! Na me say make tyre buss for road? Or una no sabi una sef 😒.

Whew! I looked at the time; 08:05. 😮😃 chei!! I cannot believe it!! God, thank you o!

Next stop: the entrance of the office estate gate. Bikes waiting: 0 😲. Maruwas ready to go: loading ☹️. 😢😭😫🤦🏾‍♀️ Manuella, give up. Last last, you’ll be 10 minutes late.

Whew! That’s it for now guys 😁. Thanks for reading 😘!

Nigerians Are Such Interesting and Delightful People

The Nigerian life is one in a lifetime

My word 😩! I once swore this would never be me; I never imagined myself being so busy that I couldn’t write for the purpose of sharing 🙈. Oh, yes, I journal, still 🌝. But even that is suffering small small 😩. 

So.. I’ve had this particular post in draft mode for over a month now.. 👀. Actually, I suddenly feel the need to go on a writing spree.. Like I should just pack a small bag and jet off to maybe Seychelles 🤔. Oh, who am I kidding 😩!

Anyhoo, Nigerians.. ☹️😓😪🙄. Indeed, all those emoji apply when I think about my citizenship 😩. This country is full of life. Literally. If you want to experience life as a concept or you want a phenomenal life, just come here and subject yourself to every kind of experience there is. Forget your status, your culture, your dos and don’ts, your preconceptions, everything; come as a new, empty canvas. 

Where else do you go to an office early in the morning and you almost can’t hear yourself over a local-language radio station blasting throughout the room? Then, you stand midway through to an adjacent office, and you can hear a completely different radio station playing in the adjacent office. Both radios are battling for airspace and earspace.. in an office 😂!

Nigeria!

Have you ever been in a bus where the driver honestly and clearly believes that James Bond has a career in Nigeria? The driver drives as if he’s on an empty F1 track, when the already undersized road is congested 😐. And when the bigger brothers of the road come up beside him, his rascality or confidence – or whatever drives his thinking – causes him to play a mindless game of eeny-meeny-miny-moe with the lives of those in the bus 😐.

Nigerians!

Have you ever tried to demand customer service in Nigeria? I’ll let that sink in, if you’re a true Nigerian 😆😂. See, customer service is a fairy-tale in Nigeria. The workers here treat customers as if they are the ones begrudgingly paying for the service being offered to the customers. Service attendants can be so rude and cold; customers immediately get the vibe that they’re bothering the attendants with their requests 🙄. If you don’t look like you can pay extra for their time, it’s very likely that your request will be treated as pestering.

Nigerians!

Can you imagine – except if you’ve been in such a situation – being in a bus where the front passenger door flies ajar every few minutes, as if to register its own space on the road. 😐 Oh, Lord! 😂 I’ve even lost count of how many times this has happened in a bus that I’ve been in. For the love of public transport 🙄!

Nigeria!

Have you ever seen where state and national service buildings look like the remnants of an apocalypse 😐? The best part? They’re not out of service; they’re still very much “functioning”. If you look closely enough, you’ll see shapes in human form travelling within the floors of the building 😐. These services are often “emergency services”; headquarters of “emergency services”. If you drive around the Lagos State secretariat.. 🤦🏾‍♀️. Now, if you go in.. 💀.

Nigeria!

I will end there, before my eyes get stuck up there. 

Until you see me again 😩 let’s hope it’s not next year.. buh-bye 🙋🏾!