Being a realist does not equate to being a pessimist.
I’m a logical thinker and a very realistic person, so much so that I’ve been told that I don’t know how to let people enjoy their daydreaming moments 😅.
Someone’s daydreaming loudly around me and I just unsolicitedly butt in and bring them back to earth. No, life doesn’t work that way. You can’t just up and leave and tour the country. You have to make sure that your bills are sorted for the while that you’d be gone. You have to research where you’re going, search for and book or reserve accommodation, calculate how much you’d need, so you can make enough money available. Yada, yada, yada. That’s me. Every single time. People tell me, You don’t know how to be spontaneous. You’re so pre-programmed! Sorry, not sorry 🙄. I like to be armed with information before I enter into something 😼. I don’t like to be stranded, physically, mentally, emotionally, however! Mind you, I know how to do spontaneous, just on my own terms. 😏
Now, I’m positive you’ve come across people drawing similarities between being realistic and being pessimistic. I’ve actually had a couple of people tell me outright that I was being pessimistic, only because I was just being practical. To be honest, I think it’s mostly the extreme idealists that believe realists are automatically pessimists. For some people, however, their realism borders on pessimism. Life is an arguably imbalanced mix of good and bad — and in my opinion — the bad weighing more than the good. That’s what is factored in, when a realist speaks. It’s the undiluted awareness of more bad than good that causes realists to sound pessimistic. We just tell it like it is. No watering down of the reality of things.
A pessimist, on the other hand, is often the one who just ignores all the good stones on the “good” scale and just sees “bad” all over the place. There’s always something bad in every situation. There’s always a hole in the rainbow that comes after every storm. The honey in the pot is always bad or infested with dead bees. The sun that comes after the rain will give you some serious sunburn. 🙄 It just never ends with them. Nothing good to say, ever. They, not the realists, are the buzzkills.
Here’s the thing: pessimists aka buzzkills are identifiable. If their input is never helpful and is ever depressing or discouraging, without providing an alternative, they’re a buzzkill, a pessimist. They shoot down every good idea, oh, and they never have any good ones either!
For some people, it’s actually their nature to be pessimistic. It’s obviously not a good trait, at least to those on the receiving end of the pessimist’s negativity. But, however pessimists make an effective journey to the border where they meet optimism, that is the goal.
Drawing a balance between pessimism and optimism is necessary, in my opinion. Being an extreme optimist is often equally identified with being an idealist. “This is how this should be. Things ought to run this way.” There’s nothing wrong with that line of thought. However, where it becomes a train of thought and it does not include facing the reality of “This is how this is. Things are run this way.“, you will have an idealist, who might even be an extreme optimist. The refusal or inability to balance ideals with the reality of things is an idealist’s woe.
In my experience, when a fair equilibrium between optimism and pessimism is reached, you realise that you have a balanced individual who knows how to dream and how to measure that dream against reality. You can’t have your head stuck in the clouds; reality will yank you out by the legs.
Until Friday, stay blessed! ✌🏾