What if I Told You Anxiety is a By-Product of Self-Sufficiency?

Is your independence represented in your emotions?

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I had a friend who tried to get me to see the insight in some verses from Matthew 6 because I was struggling financially at the time and all I did was worry in between prayers. Precisely, those verses were Matthew 6 vs 25-34. I’ll put a link here since the verses are too many to paste here: Matthew 6 vs 25-34 (AMP).

As a realist, I tried to think out all the possible avenues from which money could spring forth. All of them were dry, void. I had to refocus on God since there was no other person standing with me in that darkness.

What my friend told me at the time was that I shouldn’t worry about the things over which I have no control. Those are the very things that I shouldn’t even attempt to think through; those are the things that I should commit to God ab initio. So I turned to prayer. But I found myself caving in under the pressure of physical demands for money that I didn’t have. I kept circling back to ground zero. It became a depressing cycle.

Although I didn’t read between the lines of the verses preceding 33 and didn’t get this insight at the time, I had to learn to look to just God since there was no one else. I told myself God wasn’t sleeping. That He saw how messy things were and all the threats facing me. Some way, somehow, He came through just *in* time.

Now, the insight I’m getting from all the verses here is that first and foremost, we need to REMEMBER that God created everything before man; He knew that every creation of His must be fed and nourished somehow. He made provisions for every single living thing He created, including man.

Since God put everything else in place before setting man as Lord over those other creatures and He didn’t starve those creatures, He won’t let us starve. Also, remember that God made provision for every single creature in the biological food chain.

God essentially set a table before us (Psa. 23 vs 5); our cups are running over; our heads are anointed with oil. Verse 33 of the Matthew 6 talks about everything else falling in place on the condition that we seek God FIRST. God sets the table before you come to Him. He knows you are coming. But He’s waiting for you to come to Him first, instead of trying to find the table in the darkness on your own. The light to your path is on that table you’re trying to find on your own. However, just like man was yet to come alive until God breathed into him, the candlelight on that table will not be lit until God lights it up so that you can use it to find your way to the table from His feet.

There is abundance on that table. Whether we choose to go to the table and sit — first having turned to God in total surrender and subjecting ourselves to total reliance on Him — or we stay away and say we don’t need Him or His provision — because, hey, we know the ropes and all about being independent and enterprising — is now left to us.

God has already made the provision. You either humbly approach the throne of grace and faithfully get on the path to that table or you can keep bothering about how you’re going to feed past today. Confident peace in an omniscient and omnipotent God or anxiety in your own shortsighted abilities, which one?

What Peace-Eroding Thing Are You Holding On To?

While attending to a friend’s emotional and spiritual needs recently, I came across an insight truffle in Colossians 3:15 (you already know it’s AMP 😄):

“Let the peace of Christ [the inner calm of one who walks daily with Him] be the controlling factor in your hearts [deciding and settling questions that arise]. To this peace indeed you were called as members in one body [of believers]. And be thankful [to God always].”

‭‭COLOSSIANS‬ ‭3:15‬ ‭AMP‬‬

http://bible.com/1588/col.3.15.amp

Reading this verse got me doing an internal audit because I was going through something oddly similar to what my friend was going through. But I’d just come to a place of total surrender and trust in God and His sovereign will — I had just internally let go of something that was persistently costing me more than just my peace of mind.

Just before I sent the verse to my friend, I asked God, “Why did I not find this verse since? Why did I not find this formula earlier?” The response I got in my spirit was that I was the one persistently holding on tightly to something that even those around me could see was eroding my peace and steadily being a source of stress for me.

Since I’d already just gone through the process of recommitting that thing to God and being told that it was not for me, I was already at a place where I knew I had to let go.

Nonetheless, I realised that this fail-proof formula for we spiritual beings is something that we should continually apply to situations in our lives, especially at the very beginning. We should make continuous assessments of people, situations, things, relationships and engagements in our lives using this formula.

If it does not give you peace, it is not from God.

If it stresses or confuses you, it is not from God.

If it erodes your peace, it is not from God.

If it gives you headaches or heartaches, it is not from God.

If it causes you to go against your conscience, it is not from God.

If you have as much as a single persisting doubt, it is not from God.

If it goes against your doctrine as a spiritual being, it is not from God.

If you cannot find purpose and/or fulfilment in it, it is not from God.

If it suppresses or causes you to suppress your spirit or the Spirit of God in you, it is not from God.

Our God is a God of peace and order, not a God of confusion, stress or disorder.

Nothing in this life that erodes our peace should remain with us. We must take great care to not hold on to these types of things.

Stay blessed lovely people 😘.

Would You Really Give Your Throne Up?

Stand up to your challenges; don’t let them move you from your position.

Imagine you’re a prince/princess and I just show up intending to take your throne from you. What would you do? Would you walk away or would you stay and fight for your throne?

If you haven’t come across James 4:7, lemme put it here for you real quick:

So submit to [the authority of] God. Resist the devil [stand firm against him] and he will flee from you. (Amplified Version)

Oh, how I love this verse!!!!

RESIST the devil! Listen, James did not say “run away”; he did not say “avoid”. He said “RESIST”, meaning, stand your ground!

See, you get a new house — the house of your dreams — with your life savings and then strange spirits begin to Continue reading “Would You Really Give Your Throne Up?”

Why Do We Blindly Feel the Need to “Match Up”?

You really don’t need to recalibrate your life every time *they* change something up..

I don’t know if it applies to every single one of us, or some people are actually fortunate enough to never have felt the need or urge to match up someone else’s standards — or society’s standards.

Me, you normally wouldn’t find me trying to match or beat someone else’s game because I thrive on being weird and odd 🙊. But that’s not to say that I have never felt that urge to push myself to be on par with someone else.

Once, I so badly wanted to show my fellow everyone that something from my book of designs could become a reality that I engaged the services of a tailor that made me question my friend’s life choices, since she recommended the tailor. The outfit was so horrid, I had to saw through the bottom with a pair of scissors and hand stitch the hem back in 😩. Ended up wearing a really short dress (thankfully, covered in a black chiffon overlay) that could barely contain my small chest to a formal dinner 😓.

However, what I have an issue with (I’m talking from personal, very recent and now seemingly indefinite experiences) is matching up with someone’s standards, without evaluating certain things.

Why are they doing what they’re doing? Why are they doing it in that way? What are they getting out of it? Is that their lifestyle? Is it convenient for them? Is it a temporary thing or is that their life, in reality?

There are so many questions we don’t ask before jumping to the conclusion that someone is “doing more” than us, therefore, we need to meet up or be at par.

I’ve noticed from my experience of people trying to “match up” with me, that they unconsciously empower me to control their lives. Seriously, when you subject your lifestyle and life choices to other people’s standards, and to match their life choices or lifestyles, you are empowering them to control and govern how you live your life.

I’ve watched people whom I just started getting to know go from complaining about having to do certain things to start doing those very same things just because they found out those are the things that I happen to be doing. And these same people would’ve sworn that they absolutely could not do those things because of how inconvenient it would be for them. But get one thing: they never asked me why I do those things, and ever so frequently and naturally.

Why do we blindly follow in others footsteps?

If they have a child today, whether you’re ready or not, you decide to have one just because “s/he’s having a child”. If they decide to take up residence at the new estate in the city, you decide your house needs an indefinite break from you while you cosy up in one in that new estate. If they decide to start sleeping for 3/4 hours, you decide that you’re sleeping too much! If they decide to buy a new car, you don’t even listen to your account’s wails before you throw a mental party for your new car 😀!

With every step they take in living their lives, you’re trying to hop onto the same step without considering what you’re doing, if it’s right for you and if it’s necessary!

Who is this “they” that you’ve unconsciously given so much ascendancy in your life that they unwittingly dictate your life? Oh, wait. That’s even assuming they haven’t noticed that you’re reshaping your lifestyle and life choices to match theirs 😮 and maybe even deliberately making some adjustments!

Don’t compete with anyone, try to match up with anyone, inconvenience yourself or recalibrate your life just to “meet up” to anyone’s standards or lifestyle, especially if your motive is simply to “be like them”, or “do what they’re doing”. You both lead two separate, distinctive and unimaginably customised lives. They (both lives) were not made to be photocopies.

Do you 🤗♥️!

What Are You Refusing to Come to Terms With?

We all have demons we battle with denial and procrastination, and end up handing them the baton to catch up with our happiness

Facing something squarely requires courage and faith, among other things.

Inner voice: Manuella, listen to me.
*blocks ears*
Inner voice: 😐
Me: I know what you want to say and I don’t want to hear it.
Inner voice: Well, I’m only telling you because I want you to get comfortable with the idea. And I want you to stop fighting it.
Me: God, why do I have to listen to this? 😭
Inner voice: Manuella, it’s your imminent reality; you can’t keep fighting it and running away from it. You can’t see it yet, and you don’t even want to because of fear!
Me: 🤦🏾‍♀️😢

Very vague, right? I know. The topic to which this conversation applies to — thankfully, no longer on a daily basis — is one that’s mortally personal to me 🙈. I don’t know if the conversation sounds familiar to you; if you’ve ever had to battle an inner voice with your own unbelief, denial and avoidance of something you sense is imminent. If you got a chance, you’d probably delay that part of the future.

For some people, it’s detaching yourself from someone or something or a process you know is toxic for you. For others, it’s having to make a really big decision that has a significant impact on your life or on others’ lives. For some others, it’s bursting your own bubble, knowing that you’ve got your head in the clouds when you ought to apply self-honesty and practicality to your situation. It could be anything! Whatever it is, you’re simply running away from it. We have that in common, stranger.

Your catalyst may be fear, it may be your rejection of the imminent, it could be anything else.

Your mind independently and uncontrollably meditates on it, only awaking your consciousness when you find yourself reflexively engaging the meditation.

What are we refusing to come to terms with? Because the farther we run away from it, the longer the distance we have to walk back to face it squarely and deal with it.

Credit Alert: X Megawatts of Explosive Anger Transmission

Don’t offload volcanoes of your anger on others; it actually burns.

Did you know that when you get angry and you go about your regular activities, there’s greater room for error, and for things to fall apart?

Did you also know that when in your anger, you talk to others, you are likely to say or do something to someone that will harm that person’s morale and/or whatever relationship you have with the person?

Most people relate these scenarios to romantic relationships. I think we’ve heard enough of those warnings. This one is for the casual, work and other non-romantic relationships that you probably don’t think of, or are indifferent about. 

I’ve witnessed people who have a good thing going with people they’re associated with, ruin it because of their anger. There’s nothing laudable about ruining someone else’s mood or day with your anger, especially when it’s explosive. 

If one person of event pissed you off, there’s absolutely no reason to transfer your anger on other people around you. 

Some people can take other people’s heat; some react by doing nothing and ignoring the agitated person, others retaliate by dishing it back fire for fire. Others cannot handle that heat; they cower and become sullen in disposition. Someone might have just found light at the end of a seemingly endless tunnel, and you just come yelling at the top of your voice, finding faults with things that aren’t necessarily faulty or worthy of fault-finding. In case you didn’t know, it’s nearly impossible that you’ve not just thrown darkness over that newfound light. 

Imaginably so, it’s a very selfish thing to ruin other people’s moods because you’ve just had your bubble burst and you’re exploding with red. A lot of us who are naturally short-tempered typically have a hard time controlling our quick-to-rise anger. One thing that works – for me, at least – is to quietly find a quiet space and either vent out or relax until we actually cool off. Walking about and engaging people and activities is a surefire way to transfer anger or frustration. 

Some of us offload a volcano on others when we’re angry and wonder why they’re not talking to us, they’re afraid of us, avoiding us or offended by our attempts to engage them. It is my opinion that if you think much of a person or the relationship you have with them, you will not have a go at them in your moment of anger. If anything, seeing them soothes your anger. So, if you’re offloading your temper on people that are supposedly important to you for whatever reason, you’re doing something wrong. You need to put a lid on your temper and how you handle it. 

Don’t take your anger, aggression or frustration out on others. It’s distasteful; it’s immature, actually; it’s destructive in ways beyond your understanding and imagination; it’s deplorable. I don’t see the remedy or mitigation in transferring the heat of your temper on others, when you can avoid it in the first place. All you have to do is keep your mouth sealed – since it’s the vent for your temper – and isolate yourself until you cool off. 

Until you see me again, ✌🏾 I ♥️ you!

You Are All The Fuel You Need

They will help you “rationalise” your visions, telling you to be “more realistic”…

A lot of people want to be involved in your life… wait. Let me rephrase that to match reality. A lot of people want to feel relevant in your life; they see themselves as stakeholders. In my language, such people often “overpatakilise” themselves; it means that they often overstate their importance in your life. I have such people in my life too, but I don’t take kindly to them.

I don’t know if you have these oversized visions for your life, but I do. Additionally, I’m a believer of the principle that you don’t beat your own drums in public; you let your music speak for itself. If I’m going to do something that’s massive, I don’t want enemies of progress all over my business so, I won’t announce it.That’s one small part of the discussion, though. If you also have dreams/ visions that are larger than yourself and scare you, carry on reading, soulmate. 😍

When it gets down to the nitty-gritty of taking our visions from “virtual” to “reality”, it’s only natural to want or think that we need support from others. We want to tell those that matter to us about our visions because we want to carry them along on our journey. Consequently, we may start to seek validation for our dreams from these people.

Seeking validation from people is only you looking to get your dreams crushed and buried before they’re even developed. The vast majority of people you’re seeking validation from cannot even see where you’re going with your dreams! They cannot grasp it! It’s like trying to sell laser eye surgery to someone who is decidedly and conveniently short-sighted. It’s that pointless.

Depending on the kind of people you surround yourself with — or you find yourself surrounded by –, you may or may not get the support you want. The thing is that there will be people that will actually support your visions and will have the ability to visualise your dreams with you. However, as is everything with life, you may not be so fortunate to have those people in your inner circle. Matter of fact: you may not even know them yet; or you could, but just not consider them relevant to you. That’s your cue to re-evaluate.

On the other hand, there are people that you’d expect to “understand” you, at least, but they will disappoint you. They will help you “rationalise” your visions, telling you to be “more realistic”; they will find indirect ways of telling you to “forget it”. They mean no harm, often; they’re only looking out for you and hoping that you don’t have your head buried in the clouds. 

The majority of people you come across will tell you that your visions are impossible or that there are more “worthwhile” things to dabble into in the now. The uninterested bunch will tell you that your visions are a waste of time and unnecessary. Although I wonder what — if any — place of love these ones could possibly speak from, most are simply myopic or faithless. But which ones do you listen to?

This is where it gets tough. This is where you realise that you may have to start your trip solo and pick willing and necessary passengers along the way, since you only budgeted for yourself. You’re going to have to push yourself because no one else will. Matter of fact: it’s no one else’s job to push you.

Hey, that is not to say that every single person around you will either discourage you or fail to see where you’re going. It’s your job to apply discretion and recognise those who do; those are the people you need on your journey. When you grow weary from pushing yourself, they’re there as backup.

For those who cannot see your destination — even with a telescope — you’re better off without them. Saddling them on your journey is only loading your boat with dead weight. They’ll be there every step of the way to remind you that you’re wasting your time.

At the end of the day, you need to be attentive to those whom you need to journey with you; those who want to but may be dead weight; and those who don’t even want you to start the trip because it’s a waste. The people you surround yourself with will either build you up or tear you down. In so far as you can visualise where you’re going and your faith is alive, that is all the fuel you need.

P.S. Jesus is the sailor of my own boat. I’m just chilling, letting the breeze blow away my anxieties… beneath my aviator shades. 😎

Until you see me, ✌🏾