What Do You Call Those Annoying Nitpickers?

No, they’re not called Manuella. 🙄

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Do you know any one of those people who always have something to say about everything that’s visual? They have something to say about the manner in which everything is done. They always have a way with which they can make or do something better. Often, this pisses off the actual person who’s alr Continue reading “What Do You Call Those Annoying Nitpickers?”

So… I Tried to Get Some Writing Done… But These Happened

Ever Have One of Those Ridiculous Days?

I really did try to get some writing done 🙊 and so did my brain… but I was just too silly to be serious. Oh, come on! 🙄 We all have lazy moments. 😼

These were at random times during the space of n hours 👀:

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*lies down on the bed and typ Continue reading “So… I Tried to Get Some Writing Done… But These Happened”

I Opened A “Life Lessons” Note of Mine and Ended Up Mortified

When You’re Unsure of “Who” You Used to Be…

It’s Friday: let’s throw some wisdom around! 😁 (there’s a Bitmoji for that)

I personally think it’s wisdom to learn from other people’s mistakes, instead of repeating them for yourself. Yes, for yourself. It’s like you’re “trying them out” to see if they fit. It’s also wisdom (to me) to try to pick at least one thing from each day, or as many days as you are attentive to.

Enough.

Here are some (obviously, I can’t drop them all 🙄 they’re almost 8k words!) of the notes I’ve collected over the years, that I want to share 🙂 (see, I do love you):

“Life’s too short to be keeping grudges and plotting revenge. Enjoy your life and get back together as soon as possible, except if you’ll end up a disaster!”

“You know what destroys friendships? PRIDE!”

“You know what destroys relationships? LISTENING TO EVERYONE!”

“Cost-benefit analysis doesn’t apply to only Economics: it also applies to everyday life and decisions.”

“You don’t address people anyhow because you’re not in the mood. Everyone has their own problems to worry about, which you most certainly do not know. Yelling, cussing, ranting? No one needs it!”

“I still can’t understand why this generation is in such a hurry to grow up. I’m not grown, but from what I’ve seen, it’s a bit messy. Paying absolutely all your bills, working long hours, having to handle ¾ your problems alone, seriously falling in love, thinking about marriage? That’s the height!”

I don’t remember how old I was when I wrote the last one … 👀 but I still feel the same way. 😂 I have been through that “adulting” phase 😫 and I’d like it only if I were living alone. 👀

Meanwhile, I was going to do just five quotes (yes, they’re all mine! Thou shalt not copyright!), but I remembered that I don’t like odd numbers. 😬

Baaaaaaiiii! (yes, all those vowels are even-numbered) 😐🙊

Sorry, I came back. 🙊 I just read some of the notes I made relating to marriage. 😕 You’d think I’d off anyone who dared to propose. 😶 I’ve changed. A lot! 😂 I once loathed marriage! Dang! Oh, I’m not a big fan of it, just yet. 🙄

I just went back to the notes. 😶 I’m officially scarred for the night. 💀 I should go and sleep. And close the notes. 😐 Let me share one of them 😂 (withdrawal symptoms):

“A marriage of donkey years becomes boring, once the couple is claiming to be too old to be screwing, when one person has lost their dress sense, when they can’t look past the old bodies they see, when one person spends relatively too much time outside the company of the other! I certainly do not want that.”

Ok. Manuella, time to sleep!

Parasitic People & You

How Many Parasites Are You Feeding?

Feel free to cut people off, if you feel the need to. It’s your life. You’re the sole proprietor. People who aren’t adding to your life, but are ceaselessly taking away need to be cut off. They’re dead weight of one kind.

Now, the other kind of dead weight: those who drain you emotionally. They always have their own problems and you are always the solution. It’s very bad. You also need a shoulder to cry on sometimes, even if it’s your own shoulder. How can you be there for them and be there for yourself, too? Are you superman or superwoman? (Mind you, I’m not a comics fan so, don’t even come at me with those corrections or objections 🙄).

Emotional dead weights are the worse kind, in my opinion. The emotionally gratifying feeling that comes with being able to make someone feel better, doesn’t let you realise that the person may not fit into any cabinet in your life other than “Needs Moral Support”. They don’t seem to be present in your life, except when they have a problem that apparently only you can solve. They’re emotional parasites; they’re insidious.

It’s always a good thing to evaluate your friendships and other kinds of relationships in your life. The beneficial thing is to do it yourself, else time and circumstances (usually negative) will. Oh, some people are mysteriously good at masking their true nature. You can only hope that they will be revealed before the 11th hour. The good thing about evaluating those in your life is that, you can differentiate between those who are adding value to your life, and those who are dead weight. In case you haven’t been told, you are a boat: if you carry dead weight, you can sink.

“Leaving” those people can be the difficult part of the process. 😪 When you become such a reliable and dependable source of solution for people, they will naturally keep coming back. You’re like a spring of life that they come to feed from, in time of trouble. They become parasitic: they just keep coming back for more.

Here’s my own solution (obviously for myself, I’m not a therapist 😄): I start by identifying what thing(s) they keep coming for. Then, I start to limit my supply of that service and, eventually, my availability altogether. I keep myself engaged and occupied so that, I’m not just there like a helpdesk assistant, waiting for someone to report a problem or come with a need. If you keep calling customer service and they literally keep you waiting for hours every time, you will eventually stop calling, since they’re always apparently unavailable. It’s the same thing with you and your parasitic friend or whoever it is.

Be wise: I’m not saying don’t help people. I’m just saying, don’t let anyone extract all the good from you, and leave you empty and just a shell of who you used to be. Like we say in Nigeria: I cannot come and die. Don’t let anyone drain you out. I hope you’re not a parasite. 🙃

Chatting with More Than One Person at a Time is Multitasking

The Struggles of Multiple Open Distinct Chats…

I don’t know how people do it, but I sometimes find chatting with more than one person at a time, a bit tedious. It’s at its worst when, I’m laughing my head off in one conversation, and I have to be either civil, sober, serious or anything but laughing in another. 😕 Sometimes, I find myself transferring my “😂” response from spying the message in a notification banner, to a totally not-funny conversation that’s open. It’s usually something like this:


*starts typing response in open chat*
*reads hilarious message in notification banner, in the middle of open chat*
Open chat text box: Oh, that’s so sad 😂😂
*about to hit ‘Send’*
Me: 😲
*deletes emoji and replaces with “😕”*
Me: 😪


Seriously, chatting with more than one person at a time, whilst expressing opposite emotions in each, is a soft skill. 😩 I don’t know if anyone does it effortlessly or with practice, but I need to learn. 😕 Or, one of these days, I’ll laugh where I’m supposed to be sympathetic. I don’t even know why it’s never vice versa: why can’t I put a sad emoji where I’m supposed to laughing! That’s easier. 😩

Now, that is my own cup of tea. Some other people battle with the more common mishap of “wrong chat”. Oh, I’ve almost had my fair share of that, more than a few times. Keyword: almost. 😂 I’ve taken screenshots of conversations and almost shared them with the person in the screenshot. 😩 I’ve almost forwarded confidential messages to the wrong people. And of course, the most common of them: in a moment of overexcitement or being overwhelmed by the volume of messages, I’ve one too many times almost sent the absolutely wrong (😰-worthy) messages to the wrong people. Thank God for *I don’t even know what saves me every time*!

Merely not dropping your phone — or switching it off or putting it on DND — and throwing your hands up in the air, with multiple ongoing chats, deserves applauses!! If you can keep multiple unique chats going simultaneously, you’re a star! (I may need your services at some point). Well done! 🙌🏾

Successfully multi-chatting = multitasking. We need to start getting accreditation and recognition for it. End of story. 🏃🏾‍♀️

What Emotions Are You Hoarding?

You might be building up a volcano…

Me? Hoarding emotions? 😂 Girl, you’re lost. 😂 Hoarding emotions … 😆 Oh, please. 😄

Funny story, you are. Yes, you. So am I, don’t worry. Let’s start from here: do you ever feel an emotion, especially negative, but decide not to express it? As in, do you suppress or repress your emotions? Do you get mad at someone, or over a situation, but don’t show it? Do you feel the need to shout, but don’t? Do you want to hit someone or something, but don’t? If you thought “yes” or hesitated to any of those questions, news flash: you do hoard some emotions. Again, I do, too.

Here’s the important part: it’s unhealthy. If you haven’t heard that or something similar, before, I don’t believe you. 😝

You have a bottle of soda. A 2-litre bottle of cola. Every time I say something that you don’t like, or something unpleasant happens, you shake the bottle of cola. Let’s assume that I’ve decided to be very annoying, Continue reading “What Emotions Are You Hoarding?”

“Friends & Loved Ones” Should be a Management Course

Who else understands the struggle of keeping in touch with them all?

Let me even just start by saying that I don’t have many friends. I’m one of those *whatever you want to call them* people who categorise friends. Yes, I have best friends, close friends, casual friends, colleagues, and acquaintances. Yes. You cannot come and be overstating your position and relative importance in my life. 🙄 Respect yourself. 😒 That’s how one acquaintance will come and be pulling some best-friend strings. I’m like, 😐 “Who are you, again?” Yes, we all have those people, don’t even lie, there. 😼

I like to play it safe o. I cannot come and be climbing ladders that are not in my lane. Ah. That’s how somebody will just go and embarrass you, you thinking you’re all that. P.S. If you’re not sure, when in public, just let the person introduce you and your corresponding status. Don’t go and be thinking that you want to network and make banter. Issa lie. Stay in your lane and just unlook. 👀 Works every time. 😉 Continue reading ““Friends & Loved Ones” Should be a Management Course”