It’s been an exact year since I returned to Naija from the UK. My body is still not used to the Nigerian heat 😐. Within minutes or a few feet of even hurriedly walking, I sweat as if I’d just finished a one-hour hellishly intensive gym session.
I carried hand fans (notice the plural there) around — and supplemented those with a face towel — in my first few months back. I used to religiously use the sunscreen spray I bought in surplus when I was coming back. This is a year later and I’m still carrying the same hand fan I used to carry. In fact, I’ve had to re-tack the straws around the poor thing.
I’ve added another fan to my collection to replace the one that got lost one full-handed, scorching late afternoon in November 2016. I’m still thinking of buying another one of those foldable fans — I don’t know what they’re called.
When the power goes out, I mentally start panicking because I know my face is about to start melting, whether or not I have makeup on 😫. Sometimes, the power doesn’t even need to go out. The air con just needs to be running on a low current and my face will start oozing oil 😢. I spend the most part of my days at work and visibly in air con. But before noon, my face is so oily I look as if I’ve been in the kitchen all morning 🙄.
Travelling to and from work and everywhere in between and outside is an oil and sweat bath 😩. Before I get halfway to work, my forehead is so oily. I’m constantly and now unconsciously wiping away at my cheeks and nose, trying to dull the shine 😭!
I hate powders and padding my face with all sorts. My daily makeup routine doesn’t go beyond my signature eyebrows, my eyeliner and my mascara, which is even occasional. So to start worrying about layering my face all in the name of controlling the oilfest is a headache I wouldn’t even wish on my enemies 😫.
Interestingly though, foundation was a part of my signature look while I was in uni and I think that was the norm for about two years. The closest I had to an oily face was 7/8 pm, when I’d done my face up since 7 am. But here, 😩 h’o my goodneizz!! If my face doesn’t look like a greased frying pan, it’s not me 😢.
Itches? 🙋🏾 My body is just too familiar with the feeling 😩! When I’m out, or wherever even and power is out, ☹️ I could start itching if it feels stuffy. It’s like power outage is signal for my facial pores and neck pores to start oozing with liquid 😩. When I go around with my hand fan, even while standing on the road waiting for a bus, or on a bike, those around joke about my being hot, but they just don’t know! So I just laugh with them.
Do you know what makes all this particularly so for me? My body overheats, always. Literally. Those who know me and get into long hugs with me will tell you that my body is always literally hot. Burning. Strangers think I’m ill, those who know me say “this your warm body” 🙃. Imagine carrying a hot water bottle to your face in this Nigerian heat 😫!
That’s just the weather and the atmosphere and their incompatibility with my facial skin and my body.
The rest is story for another, no, other days 😏.
Till you see my taillights again, 👋🏾!