Lately, I’ve had to ask myself this question: why are you looking for spoilers of an unpublished story? Life is pretty much an interactive story, only it’s not published yet.
See, I like to be in control (I think we established that in the last post) and I like to visibly see where I’m headed. However, I can’t always have both and, enough times, either.
There are sometimes when you want to make a decision and oh, how ideal it would be to have all the cards and consequences on the table so you can see exactly what choices you have. You want to see the — not the potential, but the actual — outcome of your choices. Life would be much more intentional and much less risky if we could be peek into the future before making decisions. Sadly, life is not a published game story. You don’t get to Google spoilers and see which decisions to stay away from and which ones to make, so that your character ends up happily ever after.
I’m one of the most decisive individuals I know. In fact, I’m in the habit of helping others make up their minds, because I have very limited patience for [perpetually] indecisive people. We don’t go to a store and you’re trying to work out the difference between two bags of custard donuts that look exactly the same and were made on the same day. I’ll take one bag to the till for you.
But life isn’t as lucid, straightforward and inconsequential as two bags of custard donuts looking exactly the same and staring you in the face. Not everything is black and white. In fact, the more abstract it is, the more people involved, and the longer the consequence would last for, the harder it is to make a decision. There are pros and cons, costs and benefits, opportunities to be forgone, a whole lot of mental exercise!
Now, I [weirdly] like mental exercise 👀 so I don’t mind it. But I also know that time is often of the essence and, most importantly, I am aware that I can only see so much and so far into the future. That is officially ground for concern. Here’s the hack: God is omniscient!! 😃 I don’t have to worry about what I can and can’t see! Instead, He does the decision-making for me by proxy. That does come with a waiver though; I have to put all my trust in Him and lean not on my own understanding. The end goal is so beyond worthy of that little sacrifice!
There’s still a “but” 👀 (if you’re a control-freak like me): falling into the insidious habit of “helping God” is easier than trying to recite your ABCs. I’m waiting on Him to make a decision for me and I feel like it’s quiet and inactive around me. So, I start the mental exercise of psychoanalysing everything and, through logical reasoning, arrive at a decision that’s just too “sensible and practical”. 👏🏾 Well done, Manuella! Surely, God agrees, no?
Next stage: I go back to God and say, So… I’m positive this is what I should do. 👀 But just to be sure, if it’s option A, let my phone buzz before I finish talking to You. If it’s option B, let someone knock on my door within the next five minutes. 😐 Can you imagine? I bet I’m not the only one who does that 🙄.
Once, I was trying to decide if to cut off someone I knew didn’t deserve my attention. After my routine psychoanalysis of my choices, I messaged the person and told God, if he doesn’t respond tonight, that’s it. I’ll take for granted that I should cut him off. Funny story, he messaged me that night and I decided to give communication a second chance. I think that was the last I heard from him. By the end of that week, I had deleted him from everywhere.
My point is this: we can’t always see where we’re going with our decisions, and that’s fine. There’s someone who can do it for you. You just have to know that if you’re going to waive your decision-making to the One who can see all things (not just the big ones or the inconsequential ones) and knows the end of all things from before the beginning, you need to let Him do His thing. Don’t be there trying to keep an eye on the situation. Nothing catches Him by surprise; He’s not you.
It’s ok not to know what to decide or how each story will end. If you don’t want “if only”s or “what if”s, just spare your brain the mental exercise (it really does give migraines 😕) and go to the Author. He wrote the story, He knows how each choice plays out. 🙂