Do you know any one of those people who always have something to say about everything that’s visual? They have something to say about the manner in which everything is done. They always have a way with which they can make or do something better. Often, this pisses off the actual person who’s already doing what they’re poking their noses into. 😪 I’m one of those annoying I don’t even know what to call them (oh, wait. I do. But I won’t say 💁🏾 defs).
If you don’t know me personally, I’m a perfectionist; only the worst I know. I also have OCD. Lethal combo. I once did a study to find out if I’m neurotic (non-technically/ figuratively), just because my perfectionism is peak like that. 🙈 I’m not. 😪
See, I obsess over the little details. Everything has to be perfect, down to the last detail. All I’s dotted and all T’s crossed. I have this naturally helpless habit of picking at things in front of me, especially things that involve me or are attributable to me. I want them to be flawless. That’s my standard. Flawless perfection, if there’s such an expression (the grammarians understand 😅).
If I’m responsible for something or if I’m going to share in the blame if it goes wrong, best believe I’m going to be all over it. Presentation and substantive content are everything to me. I even have this habit — which I think is bad — of going over other people’s work or portion of a project in a group assignment and ensuring that everything is in place and above par. “On par”? No, thank you. If something were to go wrong, even if I were just the spectating or overseeing member of the team, I’d feel a tad bit responsible for it. I was supposed to be watching! How did I not see that?
For some absurd (not so absurd for Nigerian children, actually) reason, my cousin would pee on the sands.
I think other than my being a choleric-melancholic (topic for another day), I grew up forcibly developing a strong sense of responsibility for others’ actions, from a very early age. Before I turned seven, my grandma would punish me for my cousin’s (just under a year younger than me at the time) shortcomings. She was building her house at the time, and there were constant piles of building sands in the compound. For some absurd (not so absurd for Nigerian children, actually) reason, my cousin would pee on the sands. Long after he had done this and gone home to his own grandma, mine would come back from her shop and spot the wet patches in the darn sand! She would go inside and bring her cane. 🙄 Where were you when he was peeing in the sand? Are you not the older one? You should correct him when he does something wrong! Every time that boy did something wrong on her premises, I was to blame. 😭 I was there, so I shouldn’t have allowed it. 🙄 It was so annoying all those years I lived with my grandma.
Funny story, my uncle was still growing up under her care, at the time. When I moved back in with my mom (because my grandma had passed), he continued the trend. 🙄 He moved in with us. 😫 My sister was pretty much still a baby at the time and for some reason, she would eat ants and anything else that she saw around the house. We had a nanny; it wasn’t my duty (as a child 🙄) to watch over a baby. Every time she ate ants, What were you looking at when she ate it? One evening, my sister drank the remainder of a bottle of Actifed. I don’t even remember if she was knocked out. I saw the bottle beside her. For some silly reason, I was held responsible, alongside the nanny. 🙄 The nanny was at least, 25. I wasn’t up to 10! 😡 What was my fault? I wasn’t even there. 🙄
Anyhoo, that is how I was forced to be responsible for other people’s actions. Thankfully, team-leader trainings and working in teams in university have helped me understand that I can come across as overbearing and domineering. 😅 So, I first internally weigh all the “corrections” I want to pick at, and choose only the most necessary of them. I also let people know ahead of time that I’m a perfectionist and that it’s heightened by OCD so, they know what they’re dealing with. 😅 Final touches? Where’s Manuella? That’s my speciality. 😄 So, I let people play their own parts and I do mine to my own standard. When compiling the final single piece, they can decide to brush up, if they feel overshadowed or under par. 🙂
So, if we’re working on something, or if I’m involved at all, or you call my attention to something, better be ready for nitpicking or a potential overhaul. Meanwhile, I’m a lawyer by education; double the trouble. 😂 If it’s not perfect and flawless, I’m not going to stop talking or sighing. If you’re not looking for perfect, don’t call me. I’m not sorry; I’m a proud perfectionist. 🙃
Meanwhile, it’s the one-month anniversary of my blog! 💃🏾🎊