Feel free to cut people off, if you feel the need to. It’s your life. You’re the sole proprietor. People who aren’t adding to your life, but are ceaselessly taking away need to be cut off. They’re dead weight of one kind.
Now, the other kind of dead weight: those who drain you emotionally. They always have their own problems and you are always the solution. It’s very bad. You also need a shoulder to cry on sometimes, even if it’s your own shoulder. How can you be there for them and be there for yourself, too? Are you superman or superwoman? (Mind you, I’m not a comics fan so, don’t even come at me with those corrections or objections 🙄).
Emotional dead weights are the worse kind, in my opinion. The emotionally gratifying feeling that comes with being able to make someone feel better, doesn’t let you realise that the person may not fit into any cabinet in your life other than “Needs Moral Support”. They don’t seem to be present in your life, except when they have a problem that apparently only you can solve. They’re emotional parasites; they’re insidious.
It’s always a good thing to evaluate your friendships and other kinds of relationships in your life. The beneficial thing is to do it yourself, else time and circumstances (usually negative) will. Oh, some people are mysteriously good at masking their true nature. You can only hope that they will be revealed before the 11th hour. The good thing about evaluating those in your life is that, you can differentiate between those who are adding value to your life, and those who are dead weight. In case you haven’t been told, you are a boat: if you carry dead weight, you can sink.
“Leaving” those people can be the difficult part of the process. 😪 When you become such a reliable and dependable source of solution for people, they will naturally keep coming back. You’re like a spring of life that they come to feed from, in time of trouble. They become parasitic: they just keep coming back for more.
Here’s my own solution (obviously for myself, I’m not a therapist 😄): I start by identifying what thing(s) they keep coming for. Then, I start to limit my supply of that service and, eventually, my availability altogether. I keep myself engaged and occupied so that, I’m not just there like a helpdesk assistant, waiting for someone to report a problem or come with a need. If you keep calling customer service and they literally keep you waiting for hours every time, you will eventually stop calling, since they’re always apparently unavailable. It’s the same thing with you and your parasitic friend or whoever it is.
Be wise: I’m not saying don’t help people. I’m just saying, don’t let anyone extract all the good from you, and leave you empty and just a shell of who you used to be. Like we say in Nigeria: I cannot come and die. Don’t let anyone drain you out. I hope you’re not a parasite. 🙃